The Lunch Date Of My Dreams
by erc0901
Summary: Jim wants to share his feelings with Pam, but he can't wait for Casino Night.  JAM
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Office or any of the characters. Set in Season 2, sometime after Booze Cruise, but before Casino Night. Enjoy! P.S. I LOVE REVIEWS**

The cool April rain poured while Pam exited her car. _Great, as if my hair wasn't being unmanageable enough, now it's soaked. And I'm wearing a white top. Great day so far!_

She fumbled with her umbrella before realizing she grabbed the broken one from the side of her car. She jogged to the awning of the building and was dripping with rainwater. She decided to take the stairs up to Floor 3, hoping that in that time her shirt would miraculously dry itself. She tried to shake some of the water off, but there wasn't anything she could do with her white bra showing its lining through her shirt.

Pam opened the door and sneakily hurried to reception. She sat immediately and looked through her drawers for a sweater. She thought she had left one in her desk just in case she spilled on her shirt or something, but nothing was there. _How weird. After keeping that stupid sweater there for 3 years, the one day I actually need it, it's gone._

The office was still surprisingly empty for 8:45 in the morning. Dwight, of course, was there. Oscar had arrived and was already busy at work in accounting. Michael was nowhere in sight. _If I just make a run for it, maybe I can check the lost and found for a cover-up._

She practically ran to the supply closet. Dwight called something inaudible after her and she entered the break room. The lost and found box in the closet was just a cardboard box usually used to store paper, but also served as a nice alternative to a real lost and found box. She sifted through the belongings, trying to find anything at all that would cover this embarrassing water-drenched shirt.

She found a few ties, a pair of shoes, and a hideous flannel shirt. _Wait, this is the shirt Creed brought in for Secret Santa! I guess Ryan lost it? Or he put it here…_

Pam exited the break room wearing a much too large shirt that smelled as if it had never been washed in its 30-year existence. Right as she sat back down at her desk, Jim walked in. He wasn't nearly as wet as she had been and she was very jealous. The wet clothing was already creating goosebumps on her skin from the cold water. She had to remove her Keds for them to air out. She tried walking in them, but every time she stepped, little splashes of water spurted from the sides.

"HOW are you still dry?" Pam asked. She had a look of amazement on her face as Jim leaned his forearm on her desk.

"Well, I came prepared this morning." He lifted his arm to show the umbrella he was holding.

"Well, my umbrella is broken," she said mockingly.

"I suggest buying a new one." Jim flashed her a grin and turned to his own desk. _Damn, she even looks beautiful in a gross old shirt with dripping wet hair._

He told himself that today was going to be the day he told Pam how he felt. He had already waited 3 years for that very moment, and he couldn't take it any longer.

He knew that work certainly wouldn't be the best place for it, especially with Roy around, but he didn't really know where else he would see her. He couldn't take her anywhere alone because, well, she was engaged. He was running out of options when he suddenly felt a gentle hand on his back.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?" The familiar voice asked.

"Uh, not really. I mean, I guess I just had a bad night. But, uh, well…can I talk to you about something? Maybe we could go out to lunch?"

"That sounds great. Hopefully I'll be dry by then," Pam giggled and returned to her desk.

_God, I love that laugh._

Lunch came sooner than expected. Jim walked nonchalantly to reception and conversed with Pam for a moment, only to be interrupted by Michael.

"Pammy and Slim Jim! What's shakin'? You guys having eye sex?" The three stood awkwardly until Michael became bored and moved on to go annoy Stanley.

Once Michael was out of earshot, Jim asked, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, let me just grab my…oh wait, I forgot my coat. Oh well. I'll just be daring."

"Oh yes, this is quite daring. Going outside without a coat? Wow, you are a regular daredevil."

"And I don't need you to remind me of that. Where are we going?" Jim held the door open for Pam and followed her out from behind.

They reached the parking lot before being confronted with the dilemma of which car to take. Yes, Pam's got better gas mileage, but Jim's had more leg room for his lanky legs.

"But my car is closer right now. It would require less walking."

"Yes, but once I am squished into your car, I may never come out alive."

"Fine, your car it is." Pam tried to sound as disappointed as possible, but had trouble masking her excitement for going to lunch with Jim. The thought of Roy hadn't even crossed her mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim instinctively drove to the Chili's, which was close by, but soon remembered Pam wasn't allowed there. He made a quick turn into the parking lot of Cugino's. He wasn't very fond of their very greasy and somewhat overpriced pizza, but it wasn't the food he was concerned about.

"Yay, I haven't been here in so long!" Pam exclaimed as she grabbed her purse and opened the car door. She stepped out and Jim closed the door for her. He also managed to reach the front door of the restaurant to open the door for her. It was his attempt to be as polite as possible. Pam noticed these details and felt her heart flutter. _Roy never opens doors for me…Shit! Roy! What am I doing here? I have a fiancé! Damnit…Oh well, I just won't tell him about it. After all, it is just a lunch with my best friend. No big deal._

"Table for two, please," Jim told the hostess. She led them to a secluded table near the back. A waiter came almost immediately to take their drink orders and bring them a loaf of complimentary garlic bread.

Jim watched her as she reached for the bread. She took a small slice from the end and began to nibble on it. She met his eye contact and smiled sweetly. He returned her smile with a look of deep passion. She thought of something, _anything, _to say, but she was at a loss for words.

Jim had almost forgotten about his reason for asking Pam to lunch. _Damn, I don't know what to say. Or much less, how to begin. She's never been hard to talk to, what am I so worried about?_

"So, is it nice to have a lunch not consisting of only a ham and cheese sandwich and a can of grape soda?" Pam inquired. Jim let out a shallow laugh, but didn't have much of a response.

"Yeah, it is a nice change." _That's it? That's all you could come up with? Come on, Halpert, say something creative._

"Well, there is a real reason I asked you here…" Jim was interrupted by the waiter coming back for the orders. A younger boy came and placed the drinks before them. Jim had ordered a Coke; Pam, water with lemon. He took a sip as Pam ordered a pizza large enough to feed them for days.

"So, what were you going to tell me?" Pam asked while lifting her glass to her lips and drinking.

"Uh, well, I…" Jim stammered as words ran through his mind. _How should I put this? I don't want to just blurt anything out, but I don't want to take too long. This is so difficult. Damnit, why is this difficult?!_

"It's okay, you can tell me anything, just remember that."

"I know, and that's what makes this even more difficult."

The slight smile had erased from Pam's face. She could tell something was eating Jim inside, and she had an intuition that she already knew what he was thinking. She was starting to become nervous, and a little frustrated that it was taking so long. They didn't have a whole lot of time before they had to get back to work, and at this rate, they may never get back.

"Listen, Jim, I have a feeling I know what you're going to say. So, I'm just going to do the hard part for you." She was immediately regretting those words, hoping maybe she was just imagining her saying them only moments before. The look on his face confirmed that she had definitely said everything.

"You don't have to, I'm ready to tell you now." The last thing Jim wanted was for her to make him sound timid. He was especially scared that she was thinking incorrectly about what he wanted to say, and that would just lead to awkwardness and embarrassment.

"Okay, go ahead." Jim could hear the frustration in the tone of her voice, and he knew it was now or never.

"Okay, well I broke up with Katy. There were lots of reasons behind it. I mean, we weren't exactly a match made in heaven or anything, and, um, there is another woman." Pam's heart seemed to have come to a screeching halt and stopped functioning. _Did he mean me? Oh my God, what if he was talking about someone else? Oh shit, why do I feel like crying? Please don't cry…please don't cry…ugh why am I so emotional all of a sudden?_

"Oh?" _That's it? OH? Wow, Pam, you've really outdone yourself this time._

"Yeah, but see, there's a problem. The other woman, who I just happen to be madly in love with, is sort of taken. And she has been for a while now," Jim managed to stammer out.

"Oh, well then," Pam couldn't even finish her sentence. She was almost positive he was talking about her. And then she remembered again, Roy. _Oh my God, ROY! I have a fiancé! What am I supposed to do?_

Pam remembered back when she was a little girl. Her mother had always told her to follow her heart. She should do what makes her happiest. And she knew she could be happy with Jim. There were days that she couldn't wait to get to the office to be with him, just to be away from Roy for the day, but it would be such a drastic change. She lived with Roy, for God's sake. Jim had _always _treated her better than Roy did, but she wasn't sure if she could be up to the challenge of leaving him. She'd only been serious with Roy and she certainly wasn't used to breaking up with people. How would he take it?

"Yeah, and I've wanted to tell her my feelings for a long time now, but I can't bring myself to do it. She seems like she's stuck in a relationship with a man she used to love, but the love has worn off. He spends most of his time out with his friends at bars and stuff, while she's at home, alone, wondering where he is and when he'll get home. It's taken a toll on her emotions, and she deserves SO much better."

Pam stared intently into his eyes. Her brain couldn't formulate anything to say.

"So, do you think I should tell her how I feel? Or should I wait? I'm asking you, since you are my best friend, and you're great. I just hope you can help me."

_Oh crap, it's my turn to talk. What should I say? Everything he said was true. Everything about Roy and our relationship is so true. I've been hiding it forever, and now it's out from under the covers, and I am at a loss for what I should do. Just say something, damnit!_

"If you feel so strongly about this woman, then I think, uh, well I think the woman would want to know how you feel. It's never good to keep secrets," Pam said quietly. She wanted to say something so much different. She wanted to tell him everything she was feeling. She had said the words in her brain, but her mouth came up with something totally unexpected.

"Okay, thanks for the advice. I think I'll use it."

…_That's it? Nothing more to say? I think he left out the part about loving me. ME!_

Both had forgotten totally about their pizza, which seemed to arrive at the perfect moment once the conversation had ended. They were silent while eating, both thinking frantically about what to do.

Jim knew he would tell her sometime before the got back to the office, but he was still trying to think of the perfect way to tell her. He should have just told her after asking for her advice. I mean, he _was _asking the woman he loved for advice about how to tell her he loved her. All the thinking had made him confused.

Pam was about to burst out of her skin. She wanted so badly for him to say something more. Anything more would suffice.

She gained the courage to ask a question. It wasn't anything major, she was just sniffing around , trying to figure out who he meant.

"So, do I know the lucky lady?" Pam asked.

"Uh, yeah, I think you know her pretty well."


	3. Chapter 3

"Uh, yeah, I think you know her pretty well."

_Wait. Did my heart just stop? This can't be good…Does he mean me? Oh my God, what if he's talking about someone else! Like Kelly or someone! I know it's a long shot, but anything's possible._

"Oh…" Pam's voice faded away.

"Do you have any idea where I'm going with this?" he asked confidently.

"Yeah…" she replied timidly.

He smiled and looked up to see Pam's eyes widened and her face flushed. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked concerned.

"Um, not really, but I'll be fine." _Well, of course I'm not feeling okay; this is crazy! Maybe I should just leave. Now. Damn, there's only one car…and it isn't even my car. Oh crap. Suck it up, Beesley._

"Okay, I don't know how else I can say this, so I'm just going to say it. I love you, Pam. I don't know if you feel the same way. I sure hope you do, but there isn't anything I can do. I mean, you're with Roy for God's sake. And you've been with him for years now. So you don't have to respond or anything. Just think things over." He felt a tear formulate in his eye. _My God, why am I crying? Guys aren't supposed to do the crying. God, my stomach must be in like 6,000 knots right now. And I barely touched my pizza._

Pam became slightly dizzy and had no clue what she could do. She couldn't believe this had actually happened. She thought this was just going to be a nice lunch out with her best friend, not a confession of his love.

"Jim, I do love you. A lot. You've been such a great friend to me for the time I've worked at Dunder-Mifflin."

Those were not the words Jim wanted to hear. Just a friend? The tear was beginning to cap at the bottom of his eyelid.

Pam, apparently, wasn't finished talking though. "I've been with Roy for so long that I don't know how I would handle anything different. I mean, just this conversation has my brain running all over the place, I don't know how I could possibly tell Roy that I was leaving him for another man."

The single tear slid down Jim's cheek and he instinctively wiped it away. He stared at his cold pizza; he wasn't even able to meet her gaze.

"I'm going to have to think things over, Jim. And I'm so sorry to put you in a position like that, but I need to do what's best for me," Pam said gently.

"You want to know what's best for you?" Jim exploded, "I AM! You might have loved Roy a long time ago, but do you still love him when he leaves you home alone and he comes home drunk? And still expects you to make him dinner? I would never do that to you, Pam. I love you too much to ever hurt you like that."

"I know," Pam replied. Her voice had lost all emotion. Her eyes were empty. Jim saw the emptiness and reached over to grab the hand that was rubbing the water droplets from the side of her water glass. She didn't pull away, which surprised her, and she looked to see him pulling a ring box from his coat pocket.

"No. I can't marry you," Pam stated sternly.

"I wasn't going to ask you to marry me. This is only a ring to show my love for you. It is supposed to take the place of that engagement ring. I want you to take it. You obviously don't have to wear it right away; I want you to have a chance to think everything through. Just sleep on it," Jim said as he placed the small navy box in her trembling hand. He reached for his wallet and left a single 20 dollar bill for the check.

Without thinking, Pam stood from her chair and walked emotionlessly to Jim's car. She couldn't even force herself to cry; there were no tears in her eyes. She had no idea what she was going to do.

The drive back to Dunder-Mifflin was awkward and silent. Once they returned to the office, they were half an hour late and Dwight attempted to punish them, until Michael called him an idiot and made him clean his coffee mug.

Pam quietly gathered her things and slipped out the door. _Who will notice if the receptionist is gone for the remaining three hours of the day? Well, probably the people that call, and maybe him…_

She drove home knowing she had to make the biggest decision of her life.


	4. Chapter 4

Jim heard reception's phone ring and he automatically looked to the desk. When he saw her absence, her first panicked. _Where is she? Is she okay? Was it all more than she could handle?_

The ringing stopped and the call was forwarded to voicemail. He thought about calling her cell phone, but then her remembered that she probably wanted her space.

It was around three o'clock; Michael and Dwight had left for a sales call. They wouldn't be back for at least an hour, so would it really hurt if he went home for the rest of the day? _I should probably ask someone…_

Jim's intuition led him to Toby's cubicle. They had as short chat and Toby said he would cover for him if anyone was concerned about his whereabouts.

Jim sauntered quietly back to his desk. No one was paying any attention, so he gathered his things and walked out to his car. To his surprise, there was a note tucked under the windshield. The front was labeled "Jim" in Pam's familiar cursive script.

He opened the envelope to see a short message:

Jim-

Sorry I left so quickly. I just need a little time to think. I'll see you tomorrow.

-Pam

He had hoped for a more elaborate note, but he was glad to see any note at all. He smiled to himself as he entered his car and drove away.

Pam sat on her couch with a bottle of Roy's imported beer in her hand. He usually didn't like when she drank his beer; but he wasn't home to stop her. She glanced at the clock. _4:15. Great. Roy will be home in a few hours. Thank God he's going out with Darryl, otherwise he'd have no way to get home. I forgot to tell him about leaving that was stupid._

On the coffee table before her lay two rings. To the right there was the simple silver band Roy had presented to her years before. It contained small scratches from being worn or so long. She could remember the day vividly that Roy proposed to her. She felt the tears return to her eyes, as they had many times in the past hour. She urged herself to push them back as she reached for the second ring.

This ring was also silver, but it was accompanied by a small, princes cut diamond gleaming on the edge. She slipped it on her ring finger and stared for a moment, only to have her vision blurred by the persistent tears. She sipped the last drop of beer from the bottle and stood to get another from the fridge.

It was two in the morning when Jim finally fell asleep. He had been trying for four hours but his thoughts of Pam kept him awake. He tossed and turned until his sleep aids finally kicked in and he was knocked out.

He awoke at 10 and turned over. His head was throbbing and he was planning to just sleep the day away. _No, wait, I have to get to work! This isn't the weekend; crap I'm already an hour late._

He didn't bother shaving and he showered as quickly as possible. He grabbed a granola bar and jogged to his car. It was already 10:15 and he was sure Dwight was already trying to get Michael to fire him.

Jim wolfed down his to-go breakfast and sped to Dunder-Mifflin.

_Where could he be? _Pam thought to herself. It was 10:30 already, and Jim was almost never late. She would have known if he had called in sick. This was odd behavior.

"Michael! Jim Halpert is one and half hours late-he should not be eligible for receiving any compensation for his work today," Dwight informed a sleepy Michael.

"Dwight! Shut up! I don't care if Jim's late, he can be late if he wants to. He is, after all, assistant regional manager!" The sound of those words pierced Dwight's heart as he listed the many reasons in his head why he despised Jim Halpert.

"Well, he better get here soon, or there will be consequences."

"Dwight, just leave. You're giving me a headache. And shut the door on you way out," Michael mumbled with his head resting on his forearms on his desk.

"Yes, boss."

Pam watched as she adjusted the ring on her finger. She looked at it once more and realized she had made the right decision.

Jim leaped out of his car as quickly as possible and ran to the building. There was a nagging pain in his head telling him to turn around and go home, but his heart told him to keep pushing on. He needed to know what Pam decided.

He stopped himself just before the Dunder-Mifflin door to catch his breath. After he regained he composure, he walked quickly through the door. Pam instinctively turned to the squeak of the door and met his gaze. She quickly looked back at her computer but she could sense his presence.

"Pam," Jim started, but did not need to finish. He looked to her hand and saw the diamond staring back at him. He grinned and looked to her face to see she was smiling. She lifted her hand and he gently grabbed it. He led her out of the office and into the hallway.

"So, I see you…" he said, but he couldn't finish the words. Her lips pushing against his were preventing his speaking, "you made the right choice," he finished.

Pam nodded and kissed him once more. _This is the start to a very good day, I can already tell._

"Just remember, this isn't a marriage ring, just a promise ring. It's a promise of my love for you."

"I know. I'm not ready to be involved in another engagement for a while—the four year long one was enough."

He understood and words weren't required for him to express that. The laced hands and walked out to the parking lot, without a care in the world.


End file.
